(still) figuring it out

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(still) figuring it out
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why do you still look her up?
how i rationalize my grief so i don’t have to feel it
 • 
Rowan
when you like women
and you don’t know what to do
 • 
Rowan
1
if i could call you
letters of things i can’t tell my mom
 • 
Rowan
2
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this week, i made a tiny door
 • Rowan
sometimes you gotta do whatcha gotta do to survive
 • Rowan
the definition of chaos is audhd parenting
 • Rowan
did you develop a special interest in autism too?
 • Rowan
i left religion but i’m still trying to “save” people
 • Rowan
how can you both be yourself and hide
 • Rowan
two months later and we’re still screaming CEASEFIRE
on showing up where you can
 • 
Rowan
family traditions
or things i’m not trying to pass on to my kids
 • 
Rowan
my ghost already walks the earth
i met you in a dream but when i slip away part of me lingers behind you take a piece of me with you tucked in your back pocket a note in a locket…
 • 
Rowan
to be fair
coming out post no contact is complicated
 • 
Rowan
Home
for me was a thunderstorm left cracks in the earth turned sand to glass from the heat of its strike for me home was a mirage a constant trick in my mind…
 • 
Rowan
there’s a ghost at my elbow
i ate brunch a few streets down from the houses i grew up in sipped ice water next to my girlfriend down the block from the walls i buried myself behind…
 • 
Rowan
from a mothxr to another
left breathless in between words and worlds created by a flick of your tongue as you say i got my daughter back bloodstained hands twitching as seconds…
 • 
Rowan
(still) figuring it out
(still) figuring it out
An online journal of a neurodivergent person with too many thoughts + feelings about everything so I have to write something
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(still) figuring it out

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